Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
