I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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