Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
