piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
