Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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