We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
