Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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