Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
