hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
