omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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