i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
