yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
