Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
