She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
