Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
