Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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