So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
