I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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