So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
