Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
