Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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