I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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