all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
