At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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