No awkward lesbian experiences without me
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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