At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
