Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
