I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
