If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
