Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
