We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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