we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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