you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Randomize
