Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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