i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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