people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
