Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
