Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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