You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
