good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
