You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
