i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
It's never too late to be topless.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
