An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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