its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
