So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
