I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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