just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
