i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
