I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
