She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
