woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
