The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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